How to handle the grief over lost coins?

It’s easy to say: “If only I had mined 1 million Bitcoins the day after it was announced!”

However, this is a ridiculous, hypothetical scenario, and doesn’t really “hurt” in the same sense as the following…

I have owned over 40 BTC more than I have now in total. My current amount if a small, depressing fraction of that.

Perhaps 5-8 of those BTCs were spent on actual goods and services. However, the rest, in various ways, I have lost or wasted. I remember how I would barely shrug my shoulders when some marketplace went down forever and took 3-4 BTC with it that I had deposited in escrow. I was a naive fool who somehow didn’t see that coming, and also didn’t seem to truly appreciate how much they were worth compared to when I obtained them for next to nothing. Perhaps the reason I was so careless was due to how easy they were for me to get initially, so I just saw it as “free money” rather than how I look at them now…

Lots were lost because I trusted an early “Bitcoin bank”, but frankly, I barely even took the care to save the account username/password anyway… so it was long lost, even if we ignore the fact that they were scammers/dishonest/”got hacked” like a decade ago.

So, if I had just held on to the Bitcoins that I did buy or get from others, even with the current relatively low price, I would be “set for life”. I could have moved into that house of my own (instead of being stuck here in the ghetto with my elderly mother in this minimal rental apartment) and paid all the recurring running costs for probably decades, giving me a fair chance to come up with something to actually make money in the mean time.

I curse myself for being so incredibly wasteful and sloppy, as do many others who lost far more than me. Still, knowing that others have it worse doesn’t help me feel better. I just feel bad for them as well!

With my current amount, it’s going to have to at the very least double from what it is currently (and stay that way) for me to possibly be able to waste it all on some half-decent place to live, barely covering the expenses for a basic living for one person for “a couple” of years. While this may sound like I’m “entitled”, you need to understand it from my situation, where making money by normal means is just hopeless. That’s why this means so incredibly much to me.

I’ve tried to “let it go”, but I can’t stop thinking about how my financial worries would’ve been essentially nonexistent (in terms of basic survival for myself) if I had only been more careful with the coins I did have. Of course, with the benefit of hindsight, I should have put all my money into buying coins while they were cheap, but that’s the same argument as “mining a million Bitcoins in 2009″… it’s meaningless.

This is not me blaming Bitcoin itself, of course, but I can very much imagine that there are people out there right now who can’t get up from their beds and just stare blankly into their ceiling, cursing themselves for having lost something like 100+ BTC due to similar circumstances. I have heard of that guy who lost like 7,000+ BTC due to forgetting the decryption passphrase, but he still has tons of BTC even besides that, so it’s not at all as bad for him as it is for us who only have very few or no Bitcoin left.

How will I ever get over this?