What’s the best way to waste a Nigerian scammer’s time?
Phone ring. I leave whatever it is i was doing at that time to pick up my phone. The caller says hello, i also say hello.
Caller : how are you. Do you know who is speaking. Your uncle from the US.
Me : ohh hello Uncle Joe. ‘I find a name for the so called uncle’. How are you uncle.long time sir. How is the family?
caller : Family is fine. You are now a big girl ooo. I called to Inform you I sent you an iPhone, laptop and some other things. I will send you a number to call. When you contact the person he will tell you how to go about it. You might have to pay a token to get those items. But it won’t be much. It’s something you can afford. You will love them okay.
Me : Uncle Joe, you are such a good man. Thanks so much. I will contact the person now.
30minutes later. My phone rings again. Uncle Joe is calling me back.
Uncle Joe : you haven’t called the person I asked you to call. He has been waiting for your call. Call him now okay.
Me : okay I will.
After another 30 minutes. Uncle Joe calls me again.
Uncle joe : what is wrong with you. Don’t you need these items? I bought them with a lot of money and I want you to have them. I asked you to call the person that will bring them to you, you refused. Call him now . He is expecting your call.
Me : Uncle Joe, tell the person to call me. I don’t have call card on my phone. Or can you send me call card? Because I know if I call the number you sent to me, I will still be talking to you. Maybe then you will cover half of your mouth with a small cloth so your voice can sound different. Please send me call card. I will be waiting.
Uncle Joe : mtchewwww. He gets angry he was found out and he ends the call.
I love doing this to scammers that think everyone is naive and dumb like they are. Uncle Joe Ko, brother Jojo ni.
Hmm. I’ve gotten a lot of calls since I opened a savings account (don’t know how they found out I had pretty much amount in there!).
This calls always happen on Saturdays ( cus its weekend & you can’t solve any banking problem until monday, so they have much time to do what ever they want to before you can even get through to your bank’s Customers care.)
I received a call from an unknown number, and the conversation spurred like this
Scmr. Hello this is your bank’s Customer care, am I speaking with Mr Promise
Me. Yes, and which of the banks are you calling from? Cus i operate 6 different banks, so which?
Scmr. Access Bank
Me. Alright, so what’s it?
Scmr. Access Bank is giving her customers ₦20,000 to help them through the covid19 effect.
Did you receive a message on your phone?
Now I hear my message notification tone.
Scmr. You will receive a message now
Me. Yeah, got a message now. So what’s next?
Scmr. Do you see a code?
Scmr. You will send that code to us, so we can validate the payment into your account sir.
Me. Okay. 736288( called out the first 3 digit and changed the last 3 digits)
Scmr. Please reconfirm the code, cus it not working
Me. Oh sorry the first digit is 9
Scmr. Still not working. Sir please copy and send the code to this number.
Me. Oga. I’m a graduate of banking, Na me you won scam abi, you no get sense idiot. I no broke, so I don’t need your palliative or federal government palliative. I fit feed you, your bank, & fed. Govt together
Beep(call ended by the scammer.)
Profits from games of knowledge: https://www.predictmag.com/